


Come to me

by shaunad2002



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, M/M, Sabriel - Freeform, Self Harm, depressed!gabriel, trigger warning, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 08:35:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6697573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaunad2002/pseuds/shaunad2002
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Sam walks in on Gabriel with a blade to his wrist?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come to me

**Author's Note:**

> Reminder, there is self harm in this.

Gabriel walked into the motel room, looking around to see if Sam was around. When he saw that the giant wasn't, he sighed in relief and when into the bathroom, shutting the door. He snapped away his clothing besides his boxers and looked in the mirror, looking at scars and cuts. He could just snap them away if he wanted, but he didn't want to. He only got rid of battle scars.

He opened the medicine cabinet and took out a razor, talking a blade out of it. He looked at his wrist and back at the blade, putting it to the skin. He made a quick slice, breath hitching at the pain. It didn't matter how much he did this, it always hurt. He made another slice, and another, and than blood was dripping onto the floor. He was going to have to clean that up later.

"Gabriel, I'm here!" Sam's voice said, and Gabriel snapped and all evidence of what he just did was gone, besides for the cuts on his wrist, though he was fully dressed again, so his jacket wouldn't show them. He looked around, making sure everything was fine, and walked out.

"Hey Sammy!" He said, putting a grin on his face. He analyzed Sam, looking at his worn hazel eyes, the smudge of blood on his cheek, the stubble that showed that he hadn't shaved that morning. "You've still got blood on your face." He commented, falling on one of the beds. Him and Sam shared a room now, since Dean and Cas couldn't control themselves.

"Yeah, I know. I'm about to go take a shower." Sam replied, putting his weapons on a table. He really was tired, but he felt dirty, so he wanted to take a shower before he went to bed. He grabbed some clean clothes and a towel, walking into the bathroom. Gabriel then let his face fall, looking exhausted and worn. He snapped himself into long sleeved pajama's, crawling under the blankets. He wasn't going to sleep, but it was still comfortable.

Sam walked out of the shower twenty minutes later, hair damp and shirtless, like he always slept. "Comfortable?" He asked, looking at Gabe. The archangel nodded, calm for once. Sam found it adorable that he was always calm when in a bundle of blankets. Though he would never admit it.

He laid down in his own bed, getting under the blankets.

"Crap, Gabriel, can you snap off the lights?" He mumbled. "I'm too tired to get up." He rolled over, looking at Gabriel, pouting. Gabriel chuckled and snapped, the lights now off. Sam grunted his thanks, eyes already halfway shut. It wasn't long before he was asleep.

After about an hour, Gabriel got out of bed. He walked back into the bathroom, closing the door. He got the blade again and snapped away his shirt. He looked at the cuts he made earlier, frowning as he remembered Sam interrupting him. He put the blade to his wrist and slid it quickly, sighing softly. He watched the blood flow out for a few seconds, and then made another cut. There was now blood on the floor and on his pants, but he didn't care anymore. He just needed the relief of the blade against his skin, and he needed it now.

After a few more cuts, he switched to cutting the other wrist. There was a puddle of blood on the ground and soaking into his pants. He sat down on the toilet seat, breathing in the scent of his own blood. His wrists stung, and he intensified the pain until he was crying from it. He made another sliced, quietly whimpering. He was so focused on this that he didn't realize that Sam was now awake.

Sam woke up, needing to go to the bathroom. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, groggy. He stood up and walked to the bathroom, jumping when he hears yelp. He stared at Gabriel, than at the ground, covered in blood. He looked back up at Gabriel, who was staring at him with wide eyes, tears going down his cheeks. He dropped the blade he had at his wrist, ready to make another cut.

"G-Gabriel?" He whispered, shocked. The archangel just stared, still whimpering from the pain.

"Gabriel, oh, oh Gabriel no..."Sam's voice was shaking, sadness written on his face. He looked over at the other scars on his body, body aching with sadness more and more with each one he saw.

"No. Oh shit. Shit. You weren't supposed to see this. I-I've gotta go." Gabriel stood up, running out of the room. He then snapped, and he was gone. Sam quickly went to Dean and Castiel's room, knocking on the door. It was about thirty seconds until the door opened, a grumpy looking Dean appearing. The grumpiness turned to concern when he saw Sam's expression.

"Sammy, what's wrong?" He asked, pulling the younger brother in. Cas stood up when he heard, frowning.

"Castiel, this is serious, but you can't ask why. You need to bring me to Gabriel." Sam said, ignoring Dean. Cas's frown turned into concern, like Dean.

"I thought he was in your room."He said, but Sam shook his head. "I'll see what I can do, but he might not want to be found." He closed his eyes, brows furrowed in concentration. When he opened his eyes next, he shook his head, like Sam had. "Like I said, he doesn't want to be found."

Sam ran a hand through his hair, pacing. He felt guilty, since it was his fault.

"Sam, what's going on?" Dean asked, aggravated. His aggravation grew when Sam just shook his head again.

"It's something only I can fix and only he can tell you about." He said, walking out and going back to his room. He sat down on his bed, trying to calm down before he had an actual panic attack.

"Gabriel, please, come here. Or bring me to you, I don't care, but I need to see you. P-please." His voice broke on the last words, his breathing getting irregular. He didn't want to think about what Gabriel would do now that he'd gotten caught.

"Please...Gabriel...I want to help you...when I saw you...I...it felt like getting stabbed in the stomach a million times...no...it felt worse...because I can't ha...handle the people I love being hurt...Gabe...Gabriel...please." He was crying now, voice shaking and struggling to get air in his lungs.

"If you're trying to make me feel better, you're doing a lousy job of it." A hoarse voice said dryly. Sam looked up, finding Gabriel was only in his boxers, cuts everywhere. Most were still bleeding. Sam stood up, shaking.

"G-Gabriel. No...why...why would you do that? Why didn't you come to me?" He asked, voice thick with tears. He winced when Gabriel glared at him.

"Because I deserve it! Because I'm the worst thing in fucking existence! I thought you knew that much! Knew that I'm cruel and that I deserve this fucking pain! That I'm a coward who can't do anything but sit on my fucking ass and eat! I deserve a lot more than this! I deserve what you got in Hell! I deserve every fucking bad thing in existence!" Gabriel yelled, crying again. He sobbed, but when Sam went to comfort him, he took a step back, terrified.

"Y-you probably hate m-me now...l-lied t-to me...you c-can't l-love m-me..." He whispered, shaking. Sam gave him a pained look, shaking his head.

"You don't know how much I love you! I have loved for a long time now! And it hurts me to see you like this!" He yelled back. "Do you want to know how I felt when I saw you hurting yourself?! How I feel looking at all the damage you've done to yourself?!" He stormed to his weapons on the table, picking up one of the knives.

"Sam, Sam no, don't, please, do-" Gabriel started, but when Sam sliced his wrist, he stopped, not breathing. Sam continued making cuts, the blood dripping on the floor, and switched to the other arm. Before he could do more, Gabriel rushed forwards and took the knife out of his hand, despair and panic on his face. He was sobbing, and he dropped the knife because he was shaking so much.

"S-Sam, I-I'm sorry!" He managed to get out, hugging the taller male tightly. "D-don't do that again...it hurts...oh it hurts so much seeing that..."He whispered. Sam hugged back, his blood getting on Gabriel's back, though neither cared.

"From now on, come to me. When you feel like this, talk to me, okay? Because I care about to too much to let you do that to yourself." Sam mumbled, head in the crook between Gabe's neck and shoulder. Gabe nodded, sighing.

Sam walked over to the bed, sitting Gabe down. He sat down next to him, taking the shorter man's arm and kissing all the cuts and scars, Gabriel just staring at him. He continued to kiss each and every cut and scar. When he was done, he looked up at Gabriel, who was silently crying, but this time he was smiling. Sam took his face in his hands, staring him in the eyes.

"Gabriel, I love you. You're fun, playful, and you light up the room when you walk in. I want to smile every time I see you, and it hurts seeing you hurt. When Lucifer killed you, I cried myself to sleep at night for months, because you were dead, and it was my fault. Did you know I cut until a few months after you came back? Did you know that when I dreamed at night, Lucifer would strap you to a table and force me to listen to your screams and watch has he tortured you? I couldn't take it, and I'm surprised I didn't kill myself. I love you, and I have for a very, very long time." He said. He crawled under the blankets, Gabe joining him.

"Sam Winchester, I love you." He said, cuddling up to the larger man. Sam smiled and hugged him close to his body, nose in his hair.

The next morning, all four of them met up at the Impala.

"Everything alright?" Dean asked, frowning. Sam nodded, smiling. Gabriel took his hand, grinning through his lollipop.

"Never better." He said. "Cas, don't do that. I'll tell you when I'm ready." He glared at said angel, who actually blushed.

"Sorry. I have been worried about you." Castiel said.

"It's fine now. Sam is helping me with this, and I'll get through it." Gabriel assured him, Dean looking confused. Especially when Sam kissed the top of the archangels head. Though he quickly figured out why the kiss and smirked.

"Guess you got your own angel, huh Sam?" He said, Sam blushing. They all got in the car, though Sam and Cas switched spots. Sam kissed Gabe's cheek.

"Remember, come to me." He whispered, head on Gabe's shoulder. Gabriel smiled, humming, and all was good.


End file.
